Yesterday was quite a day. My mom had an appointment with her oncologist to see if she had hit remission. Well...awesome news...she has! Mom is in remission of pancreatic cancer! As soon as I get the news, my first thought was "good! one less thing to worry about! We may have a peaceful few months."
WRONG! Ric comes home from school and nonchalanty says " I think I have petechia." I look and it certainly looks like petechia. Called the pediatrician, went in...confirmed! Yep, petechia. Blood is drawn and at 9pm she calls and says "No school tomorrow, anc is at 300 he can't get sick now." Those damn white blood cells.
I was a bit taken by surprise cause last week his numbers were great, you know for Ric. That's how this shit works. One day you are fine, one day you have no neutrophils, or platelets or red blood cells. At least platelets are fine and I don't have to worry about him bleeding to death. We just need to make sure he doesn't get sick. I am waiting on my heme/onc to call to see if he will increase his prednisone dose again or what. I am almost certain we will have CBC's every week for the following weeks until we get him under control, again.
A friend asked me this morning how I was doing. All I could tell her was that I was pissed. I was pissed that the good news of my mom hadn't totally sunk in when Evans decides to fucking show up. Seriously! It had been and hour and 45 mins from good news that we get the next challenge. It's definitely keeping me on my toes.
I debated whether to send the other two boys to school or not today. I ended up sending them, cause I can't disrupt their lives too much. However, they know that as soon as they walk in they have to take a shower and be on top of the hand sanitizer. William asked if he needed to wear a face mask again, which totally breaks my heart because I know he worries so much. I said he didn't have to, but that hand sanitizer was a must. Jona looked at me with wide eyes and asked "does he have to go to the hospital again?", which totally breaks my heart again because this shit not only affects Ric it affects all of us. No hospital, as of now, I explained.
I keep thinking this time we all know what to do. This time it won't be so hard. This time it won't be such a shock. But, it kind of still is hard and a shock and the same damn roller coaster of emotions.
The truth of the matter is that bottom line, it is what it is and we have to deal with this forever. I choose to be strong.
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