Last Tuesday he woke up with a very sore throat, itchy eyes and extremely tired. He asked me to text the pediatrician, which I did. Her response was "We are not testing him. These are allergies. We don't want to create a hypochondriac.Up his allergy meds."
Send in the clowns.
A hypochondriac??? We have been telling him to listen to his body for 2 years! To be communicative of whatever feels "off". For 2 years that is all he's heard from us and his doctors. To be vigilant. Where is the line between listening to your body and becoming a hypochondriac? Where is the fucking line? Aren't we asking so much of a 16 year old??? He already has to deal with the fact that he has a chronic illness. How much more can I ask of him? Her response was "Now he needs to learn to interpret what his body is telling him." Seriously! We upped his allergy meds and hoped for the best.
Send in the clowns.
The week goes by and he doesn't seem to be getting any better. He still feels tired, he is still feeling kinda sick. I am thinking, well they keep telling me it's allergies, so I guess it has to be allergies. Sunday night I tell him that if he didn't feel any better by the end of this week we would call the doctor again. Well, Sunday night he ran a slight fever. Monday morning we were at the doctor's office. Again, she brings up the whole hypochondriac situation. A bit more subtle, cause this time she was talking to him and not me. She didn't use the word "hypochondriac" to him. She said, for the next two years I am going to teach you how to read and interpret what your body is telling you. What are the signs that are concerning and what are the signs you can ignore.
Where are the clowns?
Ear infection! That's where the fever was coming from. Or is it? I don't know! They can't tell me for sure! Ric asked to have blood drawn and she refused. She said there was no need. This morning he wakes up with a bit of bleeding from his mouth. 5:40am and I am texting the pediatrician again.....we have a bit of bleeding, nothing too severe. I tell her I am sending him to school cause the fever is gone. She agrees with me and off to school he goes. Her actual words were "ok, no stress!!". No stress??? WTF??? Of course, I am telling Ric no stress, all is good, call if anything else arises, have a good day! Me, on the other hand, WTF? No stress? Again, where is the line? Where is the line between overprotective mother and real concern?
Send in the clowns.
A friend told me today "Maybe the line is constantly moving". Then my husband said the same thing. I get it, I know nothing in this Evans world is black and white. I know that! I know it's a fucking sea of gray. The fact that I know and understand this doesn't mean I have to like it. I keep hoping there are a set of parameters we can go by, but the more we know, the more we learn there aren't any.
Isn't it bliss?
Don't you approve?
One who keeps tearing around,
One who can't move,
Where are the clowns?
Send in the clowns.
Send in the clowns!!! There ought to be clowns!!!
**In the circus world, "Send in the clowns" means there has been drama and it is now time to put it at an end. When someone has had a lot of drama going on in their life it is time to send in the clowns, get rid of the grief, and be done with it.
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