I hate these reminders. I hate them! Because it makes me face the brutal reality that my son is at risk of dying from this shit. Granted, Ric is doing well so far, but that reminder is there. Always....fucking....there.
It's there everyday when I open my eyes and wake up to a new day. My first thought every damn morning is "will the shit hit the fan today?" Mothers are worriers, period. For mothers of chronically sick children, worry is an understatement. Every morning after that dreaded thought my second one is "choose happiness. Choose peace. The other shoe will not drop today."
People say "one day at a time" not even realizing that one day at a time is pretty exhasperating. One day at a time basically tells you tomorrow is not guaranteed. One day at a time
sucks.
It sucks, but we do it everyday. We power through the unknown because we don't have a choice. We have to remain strong for our children, so they can rely on us.
This week our Evans community lost two people. Science doesn't think these patients are worth a damn. Research scientists don't think these people are worth a damn. Insurance companies don't think these people are worth a damn. "There's not enough people with the disease to justify research", they tell us. So, my son basically is not worth a damn. This is the reality we live in.
We lost two people to Evans this week. Two people. The reminder staring us in the face that this could happen to my son at any given moment.
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