My war doesn't make anyone elses war less important. However, sometimes I can't help but feel like I want to smack someone on the face with a chair when they bitch about their wars. I have always been what I call "bullshit intolerant" and Evans has just strengthen that side of me. I'm not proud of it, it's jut a fact. I mean, don't get me wrong, I still want to be a friend to my good friends and hear them out and put them in perspective when they need some. It's just now I have another perspective.
I have always said that, in the world according to Liliana, there is no bigger problem than a health problem. Well, now I know that to be true. Not only do we worry about our son's health constantly, but we also worry financially. Is health insurance going to cover all this? Are we gonna have to sell the house? I mean, that's a real stress that no one seems to talk about. Maybe because it's politically incorrect? These are real concerns, real problems, real worries in my world. This explains why my "bullshit intolerant" side has been intensified.
Difficulties in life don't come to destroy you, but to help you realize your hidden potential. I just LOVED that when I read it!!! Yeah, we are battling a tough war, but this won't destroy us! Hidden potential!!! Ric has grown in 3 months what a normal teenager probably grows throughout his teenage years. I am amaze at how well he is handling all this, especially emotionally. He still has his classic 14yr old moments, which have suddenly taken on a whole new meaning for me. It makes me happy to see that there is still an argumentative teenager in the house!
He just finished his last chemo this past Monday. Now, we get a break until July 8. On that day, they will run blood tests and see where he's at and if the chemo worked, etc. Until then, he gets a break from needles. No blood tests, no nothing until July 8. He's happy about that! Me, on the other hand, a little stressed. No blood tests in three weeks?? But, blood tests give me comfort!! How will I know if his platelets or neutrophils drop? It's not like he presents obvious Evans symptoms anyway! Uughhhh! Oh well, I have to make peace with that and try to survive these next 3 weeks without a CBC.
Hidden potentials....who knew I was going to rely on my marathon experience to be able to deal with all this. I guess that's my hidden potential. Focus, determination, discipline all things I have strengthen during marathon training and are now helping me cope. Josh's hidden potential....to deal with me, well I've never been easy so that is not really a hidden potential of his, it's just now I am super aware of it! He has just become a bigger rock for me, if that was at all possible. The kids' hidden potential....they are all amazing boys and the fact that one of them is sick doesn't keep them from being boys, which is their job. I am very proud of how much stronger we all are. That's our hidden potential.
Difficulties will come and go. Today, it's Evans, tomorrow who knows what they will be. Now we know they come to make us stronger, no matter how many times I doubt my sanity.
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