It takes a village!

When Ric was hospitalized 4 weeks ago, one of my very good friends told me "Listen, you need to be like a palm tree.  You have to sway with the weather. I know you are black and white, but you have to become a palm tree now."  I am pretty sure, my friend has no idea how many times a day I think of being a damn palm tree.  Just sway, don't get desperate or impatient. Sway, because palm trees survive hurricanes.

I have been very lucky with having people around me that care about my son and my family.  My friends have been amazing. Even though, there have been times where I've said things like "I have 4 doctors giving me orders, you can not tell me what to do", they still stick by my side.

Sometimes the outpouring of love is very overwhelming.  When Ric's numbers went down last week, they all went into problem solving mode (one of the many reasons I love these peeps). "Do you want me to cook for you? Do you need some wine? We really want to help! Let me know what I can do for you."  It sucks that when his numbers go down, there is really nothing anyone can do. There's nothing Ric can do, there's nothing I can do and the doctors....well, they are almost as baffled as we are. I know it must suck for them that I say the same thing all the time "I'm fine, there's nothing to be done, thanks anyways" because I know how bad they just want to help us out.

When I run, I disconnect from Evans (just a bit). This past weekend our team had a race. Everyone had set goals for themselves and two of my teammates wanted to run a sub 1 hour 10k (6.2 miles). As their coach (and their friend), I had told them I would pace them for that. It was the most peaceful run I've had in a while. Speed gave me clarity, perspective. The only thought going through my mind was "I just need to get these two to the finish line, in less than an hour". Just that thought. No Evans, no neutrophils count, no white blood cell counts, no wondering what the next treatment is going to be....just 6.2 miles and my girl's goals in my mind. It was a hot morning, but we did it!! We ran 6.2 miles in less than an hour! The ladies were very proud of themselves. It made me feel great that I helped them achieve their goal. Even though my hands are tied when it comes to Evans, my hands are not tight when it comes to running.  It feels good to be able to control something. I can always control my run.

I want to thank my village! They know who they are. I know sometimes it seems that I'm just being stubborn with not accepting help, but know that there is really nothing you can do at that moment.  You know that I will ask for it, when I need it. I am so thankful to have you all in my life, my running friends, my wine drinking friends, my mommy friends, my old friends. I adore you all and you are helping this palm tree sway and survive the hurricane.