Last test of 2014

Ric has been out of remission for a few months now. As it is to be expected with this, he has been up and down. Today was the last CBC of 2014 and his counts were pretty good! 115,000 platelets, great for Ric; 4.82 white blood cells, actual normal, as in you and I normal! Neutrophils are a bit low, but not low enough to be concerned.

 Ric was in remission for more than half of the year, which is great in our world.  We have been on a wait and see plan, yes that is the actual medical experts plan, for a few months. Shit hasn't hit the fan yet! I'll take it!

I have seen Ric struggle with the thought of being out of remission. What lies ahead won't be easy, but it won't be impossible. The other day someone in the hospital said to me "You are not alone" and I know that, but for whatever reason that simple statement made my stomach turn. I had never seen myself as the mom of a chronically sick child. I have always seen myself as the mom who has no choice but to be strong for her children. I guess at that moment I was looked at as the mom of a chronically sick child. Maybe it was the look of pity in her eyes. I can't quite put my finger on it, but I refuse to be that mom.

2014 was a relatively easier year than 2013. 2014, dare I say, was a better year, a more peaceful year. We are all one year stronger.

Thankful for the fight!